The Whale in Our Garage

Several weeks ago when Steve was away on a 7-day business trip; I found out that we had a whale in our garage.

Seriously, I thought I was hearing things. I was trying to be patient on our first full "Steve-less" day...asking nicely over and over for her to put her sneakers on, only to be told that her Sketchers weren't sneakers. "Mama, they aren't sneakers. They are Sketchers". (However, her Vans are sneakers, not Vans. Go fig) Then asking nicely for her to go out to the car as I set the house alarm. Then came an odd request: "Mama - don't turn the light on. I need to see the whale".

Excuse me? I asked her to repeat it and she did: "Mama - don't turn the garage light on and don't open the garage door. Just the car door. I need to see the whale." So, I honored her request. I remotely open her van door while setting the alarm (like usual) and then while going into the garage I didn't turn on any lights or open the door. As soon as I walked around the front of the car (using the lights inside the van) she exclaimed "Mama! This is my whale!" and pointed to the floor.

The lights inside the van help to cast a shadow on the floor of our garage. It does look like a whale...in a 4-yr-old's imagination sort-of way...but a whale none the less. This continued for the entire week. Every time we left the house she requested that I not turn on the lights. Finally, on Friday, she said "Mama, I'm going to see Amy". From that moment on our whale has been affectionately called "Amy". When Steve arrived home from his trip she was so excited to tell him about Amy.

We're going on four weeks with Amy. Instead of asking her to go out to the car when we leave, I ask her to go out and see Amy. How much longer will this last? Not sure. But I'm taking advantage of every moment :)

Our Guitar Hero

You can say Julia has a lot of heart and soul. She loves to sing, dance and use her play Dirt Devil vac as a guitar. While we were canning pickles this weekend she gave us quite a show! Watch out, American Idol! Here comes Julia and her guitar!

Our Bug-a-Boo

This past week was Julia's first 'camp' experience. She went to Grace Children's Learning Center every morning for "Bug Camp" and thoroughly enjoyed herself! Here's what I saw running towards me at Tuesday's pick-up: My little caterpillar! She wore her 'antennae' for the rest of the day until Papa came home :)

The rest of the week she brought home several buggy crafts:

This one is a favorite - her firefly. She is able to hold the string and the wind catches it and it 'flies'! She even took it to my hairdressers to show her how it flies in her floor fan. It's a well loved bug.
We gave the week of Bug Camp two thumbs up!

The One Famous Person

Everyone knows the question "If you could meet one famous person, dead or alive, who would it be?" Well, my answer would be George Washington Carver.

In 5th grade, Mr Keesey read us the fascinating story of this man and his journey. It was my first real "taste" of how the United States used to be. It was also a story that taught me that no matter where you started out; you can go anywhere as long as you work honestly and work hard.

When my family went on a two-week driving vacation down south; I requested we make a stop at Tuskegee University in Alabama. This is where he worked and where you can still see his library. It was an amazing little place to visit. What an extraordinary life - from slavery to a masters degree and honorary doctorate.

If you haven’t heard of him, I urge you to spend a little time researching his accomplishments today. It will definitely make you think. And give your dreams a little hope.

Happy Birthday, George Washington Carver!

"Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses”
~ George Washington Carver

How Long Will I Slide?

For the past few weeks I've been sliding backwards on the road of life. It didn't matter if I reached out for something to stop this reverse tumble. My hand would end-up empty and I would continue to slide.

It all started when I was asked "What would you do if at one point in her life, Julia stops all communication with you?" It took a moment to digest the thought. My heart broke at the fleeting thought of never being able to hug or talk to her again. The question stemmed from my current state with my family. Truthfully, my life has been so much better now that we have no contact. I slowly answered...pausing between sentences to make sure the words came out right.

I would be terribly sad, I would wonder and ask why. But because I love my daughter for who she is, even if I don't like her at times, I would hope that it would never come to that. Even though she's a preschooler I respect who she is. Every day I tell her I love her. When she does something that makes me proud, I tell her. Much more than I ever received. I never want to lose contact with Julia. But because I'm working right now to keep our communication lines open - I believe I've started the building blocks for a sturdy relationship. Now I'm not saying that it will be perfect. But I believe we'll be okay.

That question made me think. It made me question me as a Mom. Bad memories were stirred. And a little peace of mind came out - I think I'm doing okay. (Since then I was asked to think about my relationship with my family...which I don't want to...but I have to in order to find a little bit of peace. URGH.)

Then I was asked another question that rocked me to my core. I was asked when I was going to find out the sex of our baby. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I felt sick.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to leave the situation. Fortunately I really like the person that asked the question, so I wasn't mad at her. Unfortunately, they hadn't heard that I had lost the baby.

For a few days I was a basketcase. My heart felt like someone had ripped off a bandaid that was permanently stuck to it. I was trying to be strong for my little girl. But I must admit that I didn't do a good job at times. My soul was under an emotional assault and had lost its armour. One of the sticking points about my miscarriage is that I did not know the sex of the baby. Sometimes I feel that I cannot mourn properly because I cannot place a name on the baby. But then again, it may hurt more.

Right now I'm at the home where I grew-up. Not necessarily my childhood home, but the home where I have most of my happy memories. Where I learned that I was a unique individual, to respect myself and about family love. I'm watching my daughter enjoy her Grammy, Grampy and Uncle Eric. Now she's making her own memories. It's such a neat experience.

This visit is just a small step on my healing road. I've slid backwards for a couple of weeks but now it's time to move forward. I just hope I'm done sliding for just a little while.

A Moment of Silence

"No one has greater love than the one who gives his life for his friends."
~ John 15:13

Today, take a moment and say a pray of thanks to all of the brave men and women who died in our nation's service. They witnessed the horrors of war and strife so that we can live in a free land. They gave all they had so that we could enjoy all that we do. And whenever you see an armed service member, thank them for all they do for us. I'm sure they don't hear it enough.

Happy Memorial Day!

Celebrating the Day Reserved for "Mom"

First I would like to extend a very Happy Mother's Day to all of my Mommy friends. We've been given a very tiring but rewarding job raising little ones to be the best they can be. Here, here!

Mother's Day has always been rather interesting for me. Growing up, I never had a close relationship with my Mom. Picking out cards always drove me crazy since I never felt any of the sentiments expressed by them. I never felt like giving a gift, card or flowers. I just filed it under "Hallmark Holiday" and left it at that.

Don't get me wrong. I did have two very important people in my life that have acted like Moms - Sandy and Nancy. Sandy is the mother of my best friend, Jess, and Nancy is the mother of my globe-trotting friend, Abby. I grew-up in Sandy's house since Jess and I were inseparable since 2nd grade. Nancy I met in high school when I joined the Cornwall United Methodist Church and became friends with Abby. Then I started working for her and her husband at a local bed and breakfast. They discovered that I was actually a hard worker and invited me to work on their farm.

I've learned so much from both of them. Too many items to list. But most important they love me for me. They accept my faults and guide me when I need a little help. They taught me something that I never received at home - unconditional love. Wow, what a gift.

Then I had my daughter, Julia Grace. Named after her great-grandmothers (Julia Marvich and Grace Gibble) she is the light of our lives. As much as she drives me nuts; I love her dearly. When I became a mother I felt that "primal" feeling - protect her at all cost, provide and care for this beautiful gift from God.

It also made me a little confused about my own situation with my Mother. She always said to me "You'll understand when you become a Mom" when she would get into a funk with me (which was almost all the time). But now that I have Julia; I really don't understand. I could never treat Julia the way I was treated. There is something to say about a Mom that can walk away from a heated situation before it becomes a wild fire.

This year's Mother's Day is once again one with feelings of love and thanks to Sandy and Nancy, pride thanks to Julia and sadness thanks to my Mom. It's also the first Mother's Day since I miscarried in February. So I not only have Julia in my heart but the little one that was too good for us and was needed as an angel in Heaven. Talk about a hurricane of feelings.

So, what am I going to do today? Enjoy my family, like I do every time we have a chance to be together. I love Julia and Steve with all of my being. I love the life that we built together and look forward to all the adventures that are coming our way in the future. Thanks you two for making me a happy mother!

Happy Birthday to My Better Half

Dear Steve,
You're my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me. You've stood by me thru both awesome and awful times - never complaining and so strong. I love you with every bit of my heart and soul. Happy Birthday! Lova, Me

Here's the "cake" that Julia made for you! Complete with pop bead candles - awe!

Hallelujah, He Is Risen!

Wishing you a very Happy Easter from the Haney family!

The Striped Diva and Her Pet Pineapple

The day began in a calm manner - she ran into our room at 6:45 am, turned on all of the lights and proclaimed that she needed peanut butter and bread. I fumbled around our room and was able to get into the shower. Before I knew it, I had a visitor. Yep, in she came with her kitty wash cloth, shampoo and tooth brush. So much for a peaceful shower. Thankfully she had taken off her pajamas before she entered the shower stall.

After a small temper tantrum (I wouldn't let her use the hairdryer by herself) we proceeded to her room to pick an outfit. And this is what she had to wear:

I chuckle because yesterday a topic of discussion was one of our little preschool friends who dresses herself in the most colorful outfits. What's even better is that her Mom lets her - she chose not to fight that "win less" battle. Amen to that! Just take pictures and bring them out at prom.

Now to her pet pineapple. While I was upstairs gathering towels for the wash I heard laughter, running and a bit of thudding downstairs. Believing it was just Julia and Jimi preforming their morning romper room routine; I did think anything of it. As I was going down the stairs, over the mountain of towels I see a pineapple fly by on the floor below.

Apparently we now have a pet pineapple. A ribbon had been wrapped into the top greenery. She was using that as a leash, dragging her new pet all around the house. "Come on, it's time to go!" she yelled at the poor pineapple. Hmmm... The pineapple was rescued as soon as I was able to put the towels down. No, I did not get a picture. She's starting to realize that pictures are taken of something cute - and this definitely was not a behavior I wanted her to keep, or think was cute!

And now for the rest of the day...*sigh*.

Sun and Fresh Air

It's been cold and rainy for the past week here in Virginia. Now I don't mind a rainy day here or there but we're talking 6 days of cloudy, cool, damp weather. That spell finally broke today as the thick clouds turned to wisps and the sun smiled on Northern Virginia.

After school Julia and I (along with Teri and Peter, Sandy and Craig and Mary) picked-up Chick-Fil-A and went to a local park. We had a lovely picnic and then watched the kiddos play and play and play and play. It was wonderful to feel the sun. It was also wonderful to watch the kids run and use their imaginations. I was able to capture two pics on my phone of Julia (and her awesome smile):

Here she is on the 'firetruck' ready to jump down.

Coming down the tube slide (with Peter getting ready to join her).

We all agreed that this was a much needed energy release for all of us. And for me, there was something about the sun and kids laughter that lightened my heart. It's ached for such a long time. But for a few hours it started to feel whole again. And even a few genuine smiles spread across my face. The sun and fresh air were God's band aid for me today.

Deep Thoughts Part III, By Julia Haney

Here we are for our third installation of Deep Thoughts! (Visit Part I and Part II for the previous installments)

Mudbug Milk
Steve and I have a special place in our hearts for the glorious city of New Orleans. You can be an adult by day and crazy child by night. On our last trip there we both purchased "Mugbugs Bayou Brew and Chew" shirts. The graphic on both the front and the back feature a Crawdaddy holding a very full beer mug. After seeing Steve wearing his; Julia exclaimed -"Mama! Papa! The mudbug drinks milk!"

Our thoughts: Sure, you keep thinking that!

Breanner
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right? But does it really matter what you eat? Just as long as you eat something, right? One morning while getting her ready for school she asked me for tomato soup. Huh? Yes, I heard correctly. And anyone that has raised a child knows that at times they ask for something, take a bite and then not eat the rest. This is what I was afraid of!

But what can it hurt? So a reheated the soup I had made the previous day. She ate all of it and then a bowl of oatmeal. Okay...

The following weekend Steve made meatloaf and garlic bread for dinner. It was fabulous. So fabulous that Julia had to eat it the following morning for breakfast. Yes - even the garlic bread. Steve and I just stared at her silently as she happily ate 'breanner'.

Our Thoughts: As long as she's eating, who cares? At least she has stopped asking for milk in her Chex Mix.

For the Love of Mater
Last week my poor minivan, Reggie, decided not to start. Of course, we had to call a tow truck. As Steve assisted the tow truck driver with getting Reggie hooked-up, Julia and I watched from inside the house. Everything was okay until Reggie started to be pulled up on the bed of the truck. Julia immediately started to cry. I explained to her that the tow truck was taking my car to the doctor's. She gasped and screamed "MAMA! IT'S MATER! MAMA'S CAR IS GOING TO THE DOCTORS WITHOUT ME! IT'S MY MATER"

Our Thoughts: Yikes. Does this mean she'll fall in love with trash compactors next?

The Great Pant and Panties Hunt
This incident happened yesterday while I was on a cooking spree making three different meals to freeze. It was around 4:30 and Wall-e was over, the credits were rolling and I was in the middle of making egg noodles. My hands were covered with flour and dough. I also needed to attend to the potatoes on the stove. So, yes, I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings unless it had to do with the stove.

After I drained the potatoes and added the dough to the pot pie, I noticed something interesting. Julia was running around with her shirt on. And nothing else. The pants and panties were no where to be seen. Her response when I asked her where they were - "I don't have them right now". This continued until I left for my staff meeting at 6:30. It was time for Steve to take over the pant/panty hunt.

When the meeting was over I went out for a drink with the gals. While calling to let Steve know I would be late, he informed me that the pants were found and he would tell me the entire story when I returned home. Upon returning, this is what I was told:

"Julia took me to where her pants/panties were. She opened the laundry door, went straight to the dryer, opened it and pulled out her pants, socks and panties. She then told me that 'Mama was busy with food when I went potty, so I put them in the washer'."

So, yes, she had wet her pants. But instead of screaming or telling me that she needed help (because I was apparently busy with food) she decided to help me out. That's all fine and dandy - but for a few hours I was a bit concerned about where she had stuffed them!

Our Thoughts: Very cute and funny. At least she didn't try to put Jimi in the dryer! (Last week she was chasing him around the house giving him a 'bath' by spraying him with water from her spray bottle. Now that was hysterical.)

Happy Birthday, Jammin' Jessica!

It's a friendship that has spanned almost 25 years, heated arguments, torrential tears, down-right silly memories, brutal honesty and insane amount of laughs (and Williamsburg trips). Ever since we met at the corner of Hemlock and Aspen on the first day of 2nd grade in 1984; I think we've pretty much lived the saying "Chance made us neighbors. Hearts made us best friends".

We've created millions of memories that I hold close to my heart. You helped make me a better person. Miles have separated us but they haven't squelched the friendship. And, although you're not a 'kid' person, you and my daughter have formed an unbelievable bond that truly shows how big your heart actually is.

I'm proud to call you my friend. We've certainly had one wild ride - but I can't wait to make 25 more years of memories. Happy birthday - I love you.

Deep Thoughts Part II, By Julia Haney

It's been a rough week here but we're getting through it. Maybe sometime I'll post about it, but right now the feelings are too raw. Julia is still making us smile. Here are some more of her "Deep Thoughts" (Click here for the first installment):

Julia was never a good sleeper. A few hours of shut-eye and she's ready for adventures. Now, Grammy and Grampy call going to sleep "making Peep-pees". So after a 3 am showdown with Steve, this is what she said to me in the morning:

"Papa was in my room last night. He was mad, said 'get on your bed! time to make peep-pees!' And I made peep-pees before he got mad again."

Our Thoughts: We wish she would just sleep without the showdowns.


It's been a "Cars" movie festival for about 3 months in the Haney house. Over and over and over and over. It's so bad that she handed me the DVD remote and said:

"Mama! This is the Lightning McQueen remote."

Our Thoughts: Lightning McQueen needs a vacation.


Afternoon snack time is one of my favorite times with Julia. We watch Sesame Street and Curious George curled-up on the couch. Somewhere in this hour-and-a-half we have a snack. One day it was Chex Mix Snack Mix. I put some in her bowl and in mine. When I finished, she put her bowl back in my lap and asked:

"Mama? Can I please have milk on my cereal?"

Our Thoughts: YUCK.


Last week we had an ice/snow mix in Virginia. The side of the roads and parking lots now have that brown sandy mix all over them. As we walked into A.C. Moore she kicked the grit around, looked up at me and said:

"Wow. There is peanut butter on the road!"

Our Thoughts: DOUBLE YUCK.


Thanks to Luci, Steve and I are now addicted to the Facebook application "myFarm." We have a ridiculous amount of fun placing trees, planting crops and moving animals. Both of us have chickens corralled in a fenced area off of the coup. Julia loves to watch them. This morning she was watching them and exclaimed:

"Mama! Look! The chickens are in class, dancing!"

Our Thoughts: We're confused. We thought her class was a bunch of turkeys! Ha!

God Bless the USA

As you can see, election season at the Haney house was a little amusing. However, we kept it civil and the roof is still on the house. Thankfully we have enough respect for each other, and our opinions, to have intelligent conversations about our political views. So yes, it is possible to have a democrat and republican under one roof. Now we just have to work on keeping Julia out of the middle...since she somehow learned to say both "Vote McCain" and "Vote Obama".

So here's wishing all of you a Happy Inauguration Day! And a big thank you to all of our armed forces who fight for our freedom - and the chance to have this day. And a special thank you to our frozen friend, Andy, who is keeping watch over the ceremony. God Bless the USA!

Deep Thoughts, by Julia Haney

Here's a little collection of Julia wisdom from the past few months that we thought we would share -

One night we were watching the movie "Transformers" for the millionth time (we love it). Towards the end when Sam climbs to the top of the building with the cube and then clings to the statue, Julia enlightened us:
J: That's Sam on the building
H & S: Yes
J: He's going to be okay
H&S: That's right
J: He looks like Papa!

Our interpretation: Shia LaBeouf = Steve Haney


Steve and I were cleaning the dishes from dinner one night when Julia was passing out hugs. Since we were both facing the counter, her hugs were from behind. After a few rounds of hugs; Julia hugged Steve and proclaimed "I Smelling Papa's butt!"

Our interpretation: She's been watching the cats way too much


One night my friend Sandy picked me up to go out to dinner with a few friends. During dinner I received a text from Steve. Apparently she told Steve where we really were that night -
"Mama and Sandy are at a party dancing for Jesus"

Our interpretation: Not sure - Longhorn Steakhouse wasn't exactly a dancing inferno

Anyone with a preschooler knows that it is so hard to get them out the door sometimes. They run, they hide and they undress right when you are ready to walk out the door. However there was one response that I will never forget. Picture Julia playing with the Little Tikes Manger Set.

H: It's time to go! Out to the car. Now.
J: No, Mama. I'm playing with Jesus.

Our interpretation: Jesus loves the little children. And Julia loves the little Jesus.


Steve was cleaning the half bath when Julia decided to enlighten him with this lovely story.
J: Papa, I wash my hands to get rid of the germans!
S: You washed your hands to get rid of the germs?
J: Yes, Papa. The germans.

Our interpretation: She obviously doesn't know that she's part German. Oh well.

Creating Julia's Garden, Part I

So now that we added the Pixie Leaf, it's time to finish the idea that started almost 4 years ago when we found out that we were having a girl. Let's give her a garden themed room - girly but not too prissy. We started collecting plush flowers and butterflies. I was going to stencil (HA HA) wildlife, flowers and insects. Cute, right? Yeah, right. We ended-up with the child that doesn't like to sleep and doesn't stop moving. So decorating was last on my list.

Then I discovered Uppercase Living and decided to become a consultant. After reviewing and thinking, Steve and I decided on some items...okay, I decided on hundreds and Steve decided which ones were necessary :) Yesterday the first two items arrived - an uplifting saying and 18 fluffy clouds. I'll wait to put the clouds up when all of our critters have arrived. But up went the saying "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly" above her closet.

Tonight she wished her butterflies goodnight. Now let's hope they give us some luck and she sleeps the entire night!

Shameless plug for my Uppercase Living site: http://love2decorate.uppercaseliving.net

Pixie Power

As mentioned in yesterday's post, here is Julia's Pixie leaf that arrived on Christmas -
She absolutely adores it and has to show everyone that visits. I just ordered a bunch of stuff from Uppercase Living to add to the garden decor (clouds, flowers, butterflies, lady bugs, dragonflies). Okay, so it's taken me over three years to complete. But she's a busy little girl :)

The Weapon is Gone!

Today we celebrate the removal of the purple cast. And may it be the last cast we see!

Julia was very excited to see the doctor and say goodbye to her "band aid". We prepared her for more pictures and a loud saw. She was actually well behaved for the entire ordeal - telling Steve and I stories about the exam room "It's a nice room where the doctor sleeps", "I like my room", "This is where the doctor is going to see my band aid", "It needs a pixie leaf" (I'll post about the pixie leaf another time). I even got a "thank you" from the nurse (see Mama Said... for the story of the nurse who loves the Redskins) when he saw my Eagles shirt. The compliment came because the Eagles beat the crap out of the Cowboys last weekend. BIG DEAL down here. Anyway...

She got to wear cool purple headphones as they started the circular saw that removes the cast. She didn't even squeal! It was very loud and even I was a bit nervous. But she watched intently as the nurse sawed down both sides of the cast. As he was cutting it off, he told her that she was the best patient of the day because she greeted him with a great big smile and didn't even flinch when he started the saw.

Then she tried to stretch her arm - immediate screams and tears. We were able to calm her with some gentle touches and hugs. The doctor gave her a clean bill of health but it will take a few days for her arm's muscles to get back to normal. Whew, what a relief.

So our hugs are now cast-free and we aren't in danger of getting pelted by a very hard cast. As much as she tried to be careful with her arm ouchie; we did get a few 'hits'. But Steve and I are very happy to have our snuggle-hugs back :)