Balance

Yeah, I know. Five weeks...

Natalie, a fellow MOMS Club member, is a personal trainer who is helping me with my fitness routine. She's very supportive and understands that it's hard to fit an exercise routine into the life of a Mom. The last two sessions she's helped me with my physical balance. Which basically means torturing me with Bosu Ball and Gliding Disc activities. I'm sure with enough practice I'll get better. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel for this balancing act. But emotional balance? That's another story.

Shortly after my last post, Steve and I went to the Poconos for a bit of rest and relaxation. It was time for us to reconnect as a couple without the little girl. It was fabulous! And Julia had a great weekend with Grammy, Grampy, Aunt Jess and Ruby. She's still talking about the events of the weekend. And trying to give Jimi a "smack down" (Thanks, Jess. You're fantastic.).

It was hard to come home but nice to return with a renewed spirit. That lasted for a few days. And then the families reared their ugly heads. It's no secret that I've never felt close to my biological family (except Eric). After having Julia I really don't understand them. Now, as a mother, I really don't understand why people do the things they do/say to their children. Parenting is tough at times but it's okay to walk away for a breath when things are a bit hairy and to recognize that you'll always love them...you may just not like them at that time. And if there is something that happens that you're not proud of - it's okay to tell them that you're sorry. And ALWAYS tell the ones that you love that you love them. And mean it. If you don't, then don't lie. It just makes things harder down the road. I'm tired of the constant 'flare-ups' and uneasiness of what was going to come around the corner next with my family.

So, here I am sitting on the couch with a sick Julia watching "Cars". God is telling us it's time to slow down. Snuggle on the couch, watch silly movies and make sure we wear our pajamas all day. The living room is covered with toys, shoes, papers, animals and blankets. Do I care? No. Cleaning will be for another day. If I was running around cleaning I would miss Julia's giggles when the tractors are on or her "Mater funny!" expression when he's driving backwards and then when he's in the fancy helicopter. And they're not worth missing.

It's been a roller coaster ride lately. Balancing life, and its surprises, is tough. I don't think I'll ever get to an even point (but I will conquer that stupid Bosu Ball) but I'm learning to take a moment here and there. It's been a long learning journey but little moments are something that will help make the rest of the journey a little more enjoyable.