Our Bug-a-Boo

This past week was Julia's first 'camp' experience. She went to Grace Children's Learning Center every morning for "Bug Camp" and thoroughly enjoyed herself! Here's what I saw running towards me at Tuesday's pick-up: My little caterpillar! She wore her 'antennae' for the rest of the day until Papa came home :)

The rest of the week she brought home several buggy crafts:

This one is a favorite - her firefly. She is able to hold the string and the wind catches it and it 'flies'! She even took it to my hairdressers to show her how it flies in her floor fan. It's a well loved bug.
We gave the week of Bug Camp two thumbs up!

The One Famous Person

Everyone knows the question "If you could meet one famous person, dead or alive, who would it be?" Well, my answer would be George Washington Carver.

In 5th grade, Mr Keesey read us the fascinating story of this man and his journey. It was my first real "taste" of how the United States used to be. It was also a story that taught me that no matter where you started out; you can go anywhere as long as you work honestly and work hard.

When my family went on a two-week driving vacation down south; I requested we make a stop at Tuskegee University in Alabama. This is where he worked and where you can still see his library. It was an amazing little place to visit. What an extraordinary life - from slavery to a masters degree and honorary doctorate.

If you haven’t heard of him, I urge you to spend a little time researching his accomplishments today. It will definitely make you think. And give your dreams a little hope.

Happy Birthday, George Washington Carver!

"Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses”
~ George Washington Carver

How Long Will I Slide?

For the past few weeks I've been sliding backwards on the road of life. It didn't matter if I reached out for something to stop this reverse tumble. My hand would end-up empty and I would continue to slide.

It all started when I was asked "What would you do if at one point in her life, Julia stops all communication with you?" It took a moment to digest the thought. My heart broke at the fleeting thought of never being able to hug or talk to her again. The question stemmed from my current state with my family. Truthfully, my life has been so much better now that we have no contact. I slowly answered...pausing between sentences to make sure the words came out right.

I would be terribly sad, I would wonder and ask why. But because I love my daughter for who she is, even if I don't like her at times, I would hope that it would never come to that. Even though she's a preschooler I respect who she is. Every day I tell her I love her. When she does something that makes me proud, I tell her. Much more than I ever received. I never want to lose contact with Julia. But because I'm working right now to keep our communication lines open - I believe I've started the building blocks for a sturdy relationship. Now I'm not saying that it will be perfect. But I believe we'll be okay.

That question made me think. It made me question me as a Mom. Bad memories were stirred. And a little peace of mind came out - I think I'm doing okay. (Since then I was asked to think about my relationship with my family...which I don't want to...but I have to in order to find a little bit of peace. URGH.)

Then I was asked another question that rocked me to my core. I was asked when I was going to find out the sex of our baby. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I felt sick.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to leave the situation. Fortunately I really like the person that asked the question, so I wasn't mad at her. Unfortunately, they hadn't heard that I had lost the baby.

For a few days I was a basketcase. My heart felt like someone had ripped off a bandaid that was permanently stuck to it. I was trying to be strong for my little girl. But I must admit that I didn't do a good job at times. My soul was under an emotional assault and had lost its armour. One of the sticking points about my miscarriage is that I did not know the sex of the baby. Sometimes I feel that I cannot mourn properly because I cannot place a name on the baby. But then again, it may hurt more.

Right now I'm at the home where I grew-up. Not necessarily my childhood home, but the home where I have most of my happy memories. Where I learned that I was a unique individual, to respect myself and about family love. I'm watching my daughter enjoy her Grammy, Grampy and Uncle Eric. Now she's making her own memories. It's such a neat experience.

This visit is just a small step on my healing road. I've slid backwards for a couple of weeks but now it's time to move forward. I just hope I'm done sliding for just a little while.

A Moment of Silence

"No one has greater love than the one who gives his life for his friends."
~ John 15:13

Today, take a moment and say a pray of thanks to all of the brave men and women who died in our nation's service. They witnessed the horrors of war and strife so that we can live in a free land. They gave all they had so that we could enjoy all that we do. And whenever you see an armed service member, thank them for all they do for us. I'm sure they don't hear it enough.

Happy Memorial Day!

Celebrating the Day Reserved for "Mom"

First I would like to extend a very Happy Mother's Day to all of my Mommy friends. We've been given a very tiring but rewarding job raising little ones to be the best they can be. Here, here!

Mother's Day has always been rather interesting for me. Growing up, I never had a close relationship with my Mom. Picking out cards always drove me crazy since I never felt any of the sentiments expressed by them. I never felt like giving a gift, card or flowers. I just filed it under "Hallmark Holiday" and left it at that.

Don't get me wrong. I did have two very important people in my life that have acted like Moms - Sandy and Nancy. Sandy is the mother of my best friend, Jess, and Nancy is the mother of my globe-trotting friend, Abby. I grew-up in Sandy's house since Jess and I were inseparable since 2nd grade. Nancy I met in high school when I joined the Cornwall United Methodist Church and became friends with Abby. Then I started working for her and her husband at a local bed and breakfast. They discovered that I was actually a hard worker and invited me to work on their farm.

I've learned so much from both of them. Too many items to list. But most important they love me for me. They accept my faults and guide me when I need a little help. They taught me something that I never received at home - unconditional love. Wow, what a gift.

Then I had my daughter, Julia Grace. Named after her great-grandmothers (Julia Marvich and Grace Gibble) she is the light of our lives. As much as she drives me nuts; I love her dearly. When I became a mother I felt that "primal" feeling - protect her at all cost, provide and care for this beautiful gift from God.

It also made me a little confused about my own situation with my Mother. She always said to me "You'll understand when you become a Mom" when she would get into a funk with me (which was almost all the time). But now that I have Julia; I really don't understand. I could never treat Julia the way I was treated. There is something to say about a Mom that can walk away from a heated situation before it becomes a wild fire.

This year's Mother's Day is once again one with feelings of love and thanks to Sandy and Nancy, pride thanks to Julia and sadness thanks to my Mom. It's also the first Mother's Day since I miscarried in February. So I not only have Julia in my heart but the little one that was too good for us and was needed as an angel in Heaven. Talk about a hurricane of feelings.

So, what am I going to do today? Enjoy my family, like I do every time we have a chance to be together. I love Julia and Steve with all of my being. I love the life that we built together and look forward to all the adventures that are coming our way in the future. Thanks you two for making me a happy mother!

Happy Birthday to My Better Half

Dear Steve,
You're my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me. You've stood by me thru both awesome and awful times - never complaining and so strong. I love you with every bit of my heart and soul. Happy Birthday! Lova, Me

Here's the "cake" that Julia made for you! Complete with pop bead candles - awe!

Hallelujah, He Is Risen!

Wishing you a very Happy Easter from the Haney family!